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Political Correctness in American Politics

McKenzie Abernathy, A.K.A.  “Starshine Moonbeam.

McKenzie Abernathy, A.K.A. “Starshine Moonbeam."

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As you may have seen earlier in the news, Trump is suing the UK in response to being barred from entering Europe for hate crimes. As Queen Elizabeth put it, “We can’t have any racist white trash in our country”. Trump told Fox News today, “I’ve been wronged. After all, they don’t have the right to take away my free speech. Those liberals should be ashamed. They took political correctness too far! Besides, I’m the least racist person you’ve ever met. Mexicans made all of my ‘Make America Great Again’ hats, and they love me.”

 

This issue got us wondering: where is the line between political correctness and free speech? At what point is it being taken too far? So we took to the hypothetical streets of Serrano and, like Hillary Clinton, tried to understand the youths.

 

The first person we interviewed was Freshman, Arthur Haverford, Jr. We intercepted him as he climbed out of a trashcan he’d been dumped in by some upperclassmen. Little Arthur insisted that he stood at no less than five feet and three quarters of an inch, and yes, his mother did pick his clothes out for him. With a retainer lisp, Arthur began to tell us what political correctness means to him. “My mom said that you just have to never say anything that’ll hurt anyone’s feelings, and then you won’t get swirlied in the toilet anymore”.
That’s when we noticed water gently dripping from his hair from an earlier swirly incident.

After realizing that an interview with the Freshman was going nowhere, we moved on to find a politically aware student who could give us some insight into the significance of political correctness. We canvassed the quad, searching for that perfect subject, when we came across McKenzie Abernathy, or as she preferred to be called, “Starshine Moonbeam”. Our talk with Miss Moonbeam was…interesting, to say the least. As a self proclaimed manatee kin, Moonbeam spends most of her free time in the ocean. Well, not actually in the ocean since she can’t, or rather won’t, swim with all “the predators of the manatees.” When asked about political correctness, Moonbeam says that she “believes everyone should watch what they say.” Moonbeam didn’t care too much about political correctness’ effects on politics, only saying that she was “offended that [we] would say anything against minority groups.” Let the record show that we said nothing about minority groups. This preceded a long rant from Moonbeam about the racism against African-Americans, or as Moonbeam called them, the “beautiful chocolate people of America.” Moonbeam then stalked away, the fake fox tail attached to the back of her pants swaying in the breeze.

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Robert McKankle

We knew we weren’t going to gain any real understanding of political correctness until after school, when we followed the sound of country music blaring from a brand new yellow Hummer, the license plate reading, “MAMSBOY”. There we met Senior and Varsity football player, Robert McKankle. He kindly turned the music down a couple points and told us about his views on political correctness. “I really don’t care, I’ll speak my mind, whatever.” Throughout the interview, Robert tugged the bill of his Bass Pro Shops baseball cap. He eloquently continued to shout, “TRUMP 2K16!” However, Robert asked that he remain anonymous in the newspaper because “it’s kinda hard to explain” why he supports Trump, and also he’s afraid to be jumped.

 

At the end of the day, we didn’t learn anything about political correctness. But we do know that we shouldn’t have asked teenagers, and there are a lot of really, really weird kids at Serrano.

 

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Political Correctness in American Politics